thoughts on rest and days off.

this weekend, my body's forcing me to take a mandatory few days off.  which, i'll admit, is always better to schedule myself than have my body schedule it for me.  but either way, i'll feel better afterward.  at the moment, i'm not exactly enjoying the large cold sore on my chin, but i have learned a few things.  okay... not really learned, re-learened.  or remembered..

1. my body can handle a couple weeks of heightened sugar intake just fine - as long as i have a couple weeks after that of no stress, almost perfect diet, and consistent exercise.  oh yeah, and lots of sleep.  during the last couple weeks of winter semester, i was eating quite a bit more sugar than my body is used to.  coming from that into a work environment {that's been a big change and a kind of a constant, nagging sort of stress}, i shouldn't have been surprised when my body said, "wait a minute...I DON'T HAVE THE NUTRIENTS I NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS!" and then.... crash.  first headaches, then fatigue, then neck pain, then cold sore.  it did try to give me warning signs, first.  so i can't complain.  

2.  speaking of warning signs, this has been a great re-learning experience because i've remembered that i need to pay attention to those warning signs my body's giving me and do something about them instead of just shrugging them off and saying, "oh, my headache will go away eventually."  the last three weeks in seattle, i've been shrugging-off all the signals my body's sending me more than ever.  but i'm glad to have a reminder.  now, i'm going to re-start working to stay more in-tune with what my body needs.  i'm going to do more yoga, eat more vegetables, and make some time every day for just me - to meditate and relax.

3.  i've also learned yet another lesson about social comparison.  i'm competitive - if you don't believe me, just come play cards with me and my sisters.  i worried, coming up here, that i wouldn't be able to keep up.  after all, i'm with a group of students that are elite - to say the least.  i'm not sure how in the world i was placed with most of them, to be honest.  while i've taken big leaps in not comparing myself to others physically, it's okay to compare myself in every other way, right?  ...wrong.  dead wrong, in fact.  everyone has their own individual 100%.  for some, that means a fifty-hour work week, for others it's a casual twenty.  while twenty-hour work weeks here won't quite cut it {for the next several weeks, at least}, i'm finding that i can't push myself to the same limits that others judge their work by.  i can make sure i'm collecting quality data, doing my best in everything i'm doing, but not taking on so much that i'm overwhelmed.  individual's work styles are just about as different as individual's physical-selves.  and that's why there's no good in comparing - even though it happens often in all different settings.

to be honest, i'm really glad i have a couple of days to slow down.  i didn't realize how absolutely out-of-touch with myself i was until i woke up this morning.  these next couple of days will be used to center myself again - return to being okay with my inner-self, so i can work with my body to accomplish what i need to, instead of ignoring its limits and trying to push to the extreme.

speaking of extreme... from the internet, i've been exploring bikram yoga studios in seattle, and i can tell you i'm more than intrigued.  i've been wanting an extra push when it comes to yoga, lately, and i think this might be the thing to try.  105 degrees with 50% humidity, and it's 90 minutes long.  eek!  it scares me... but one of the biggest reasons i'm here is to overcome things that scare me {more on that to come}.  so i'm going to give it a try.  i'm going to work up to it, first.  despite their claim that you don't need to even be physically active to try it, i'd like to not embarrass myself. :)  

also, there is the cutest little finch that's building a nest outside my window today.  she keeps standing on my windowsill with her beak absolutely stuffed with grass.  she looks in and twitches her head back and forth as if she's trying to say, "hey! i need some help here! this stuff is so heavy!"  it's adorable.  and i wish i could help her.  be strong, little bird!