the day off.

within the last several weeks, one phenomenon keeps repeating itself: on the days i work {despite the fact that both taylor and i are gone all day} the house turns itself into a tornado disaster area {not supposed to be funny.  while living in abilene, there is nothing funny about tornadoes}.  our schedule on those days absolutely does not allow us time to do damage control.  so... if i work for a several consecutive days, the house throws a bigger and bigger tantrum until in some areas the floor isn't really visible.

i take full responsibility for my portion of this wreck.  ....and that means a vast majority of it.

so, my day off turns into the damage control day.

i've worked four full shifts this week consecutively.  and last week, the damage control just didn't happen.  thus, my day off today consisted of cleaning our room and part of the kitchen.  both rooms are now at least livable.  as to the rest of the house... let's hope i don't work on monday. ;)

today's good things:

*waking up to my husband making me a green smoothie with spinach, kale and collards and an ezekiel english muffin with lori's incredible cookie dough almond butter.  i was almost jealous of myself, then i realized i didn't have to be.

*skyping with da mama.  man, it feels good to see someone face to face {well...as close as it gets, you know} and have good conversation!

*reading my graduation cards from my sisters and families.  yeah, i cried again.  i ought to put them away so i don't become entirely unstable.

*getting out of bed at 9:30 am.

*finally cleaning out my email inbox.  from 22 unread emails down to 2.  oh yeah, baby.  oh yeah.

*not getting one single text from my boss.  hallelujah i've maxed out my hours this week without him paying me more and giving me benefits.  now he can't ask me to anything else.

*looking at my bright blue nails all day.  there's just something about painted nails that has me feeling pretty and put together.

*wearing real clothes - yeah, that work uniform got old real quick.

aaaaand i'm off to make brownies.  oh yeah, brownies from dreena burton's new cookbook let them eat vegan.  thanks again, lori, for making my food life a thousand times better today, and to mom for sending me the recipe.  it's a good life when there are brownies involved.  it's a better life when the first person to make them was dreena burton.

i've changed.

lately, i'm the kind of person who wakes up on time.  i'm the kind of person who showers every morning, and most afternoons after hitting the gym after work.  i'm the kind of woman who makes two loaves of homemade bread every other week and reads her scriptures every day.  i'm the person who still speeds five-over even though everyone else in texas is driving five-under.  the last few months, i've been the kind of person who thinks i'm sleep deprived when i get six hours of sleep for three days in a row {and then i have to remind myself what i did all through college...}.

i'm the girl who makes her husband dinner most nights, but still complains that i'm too tired some days, too.
i'm the person who has enough self control to go a whole three days without sugar.  and the girl who lets herself have a treat every few days.

i'm the wife that makes my husband stop the car in the middle of the road late at night so that i can roll down my window and whisper here, kitty kitty to the little stray across the sidewalk.

i'm the girl that puts on makeup five out of seven days and washes my face every single night.

i'm the roommate who hasn't put away her clothes for the past two weeks and makes a new commitment every day to respect the mutual spaces.

i'm the coworker who no longer forgets her tips {and thus no longer gives her tips to the girls working she does}.

i'm the artist who has picked up a sketchbook once in the last three years {practically}, but keeps it on the table in case an open hour inserts itself into my day.

i'm the girl who's in dire need of a haircut, a good sun-nap, and could use a good beach-body work out.

i'm the girl who prays a lot lately, makes other people their coffee, tries not to resent her boss, and remembers to say i love you often.

the one who sleeps in when she gets the chance.
reads in binges.
longs for a dog and eats bananas obsessively.

i'm the girl who looks back at her facebook pictures and wonders how in the world she's changed that much in just about every way imaginable in such a short time.  and yet, i'm still the girl who gets frustrated every few days that nothing seems to be changing.

but tonight i realize that when i feel that frustration, i can just let it go.
like i would in yoga.
because although change is imperceptible in the moment, looking back on days and weeks and months and years, nothing ever stays the same for very long.