Mindfulness

today i'm feeling aggressive. it's felt good to throw my energy at things - the ground, a book, a project. mentally hurling my energy in any direction has given me more satisfaction than anything else today.

physically, i'm feeling really well and healthy. my body feels slim and lean and ready to move. it feels ready for summer and hiking and fun. long arms, lean core, powerful legs.

i'm feeling pretty relaxed today. there's a tiny bit of tension in the back of my neck (most likely from my bad mood this morning), and i'm a little tired from sitting so long, and otherwise i'm feeling great! loose and relaxed. my shoulders feel light, my legs feel stable, my arms energized.

today, i'm fighting a little shame for the chocolate and peanut butter. i'm also telling myself that it's absolutely okay to give myself a treat no matter what it is! i'm responding to hunger and fullness signals and feeding myself well.

also just realized i'm super thirsty! water-bottle refilled! i can hear music and grackle solicitations - one of my favorite sounds.

i'm feeling like i want some connection, but also like i want a break. i'd like time to paint my nails, do yoga and watch a dress your truth video tonight - 12 step or no? i'm waffling right now.

i was angry and frustrated today and realized it was the book i was reading - along with feeling some shame around my fear of bugs and being perceived as annoying. those things started my day off pretty crappy. but luckily it improved. a great run outside in the hot sunshine and a little bit of time with taylor and i'm feeling much more my (pleasant) self this afternoon.

Summer Break

i need the warmth of a thousand summers on my face today. an aching deep in my body for the freedom of running through the blossoming backyard, chasing birds, picking apricots. sun-dried hair and sun-burnt shoulders. bare feet and freckles on my face. i'm in need of a fly away and see you next season kind of vacation. the kind that takes me to places with warm colors, rich mountains, beautiful trees, and an all-penetrating heat. i want the high-school-summer-job carefree of sure! let's blow $200 on clothes today! and the afterwork thrill of homemade cookies and chess games. i long for the kind of adventure that makes my blood tingle and my head swim. that jump-off-a-50-foot-cliff feeling as the water below gets closer and closer and... i want the lazy days of cats in the carpet sun-patches and time to write in the morning on the sofa with a large glass of lemon water. my feet are restless to pound the red dirt as the sun crests the hilltops. long grass and cold strawberries and grapes, all laying on our backs staring at the wind-blown cloud castles. shorts and flip-flops and swimsuits and lazy popsicle drips. waking to sunshine in the morning, sunshine in the evening at bedtime. sunshine in my toes, my eyelids, my fingertips. my soul yearns for summer break.