lunch.

yesterday's dinner and today's lunch. scrumptious! i folded up the cabbage leaf and ate it like a taco.  it dripped all over my fingers and the table, but the mess was absolutely worth it.

purple cabbage leaf

mixed greens

guacamole

(avacodo

lime juice

green onion

salt 

pepper

red pepper flakes

oregano)

fresh salsa

(4 tomatoes

1 jalapeño

1 garlic clove

1 red pepper

salt

pepper

oregano

lime juice

1/2 red onion)

sliced carrots

a week of mornings.

7:35 am. saturday morning.
awoken by jack johnson humming sleeping through the static from my "saturday morning sleep in" playlist.  i cracked the blinds - a usual practice.  checking to see if the sun has enough courage to shine another day.

through the maze of branches, bright sunrise rays played a still pattern on the windowpanes.  clear watercolor blue sky in patches through new-spring dew-covered leaves.  lilac bushes paused mid-bloom.  there's never been a sunrise like this before.  not a breeze, not a bird. the whole world completely still.

it lent a sense of peace deeper than any i have felt in months.  complete calm.  for the first time in weeks, my hope is concrete.  unquestioned.  awake.

it's difficult to attempt to replicate how a feeling of such momentary peace - strong enough to still an entire chaotic world - can push me forward.  one day.  i know i can handle today.  i know there are brighter sunrises to seek.  i know the leaves won't always be this green, but i know they will be again.  somedays.

i'm hopeful, and a little apprehensive.
it feels like a new chapter, a different-colored thread, a slight variation in the pattern, noticeable.
calm.  still.  no need to ask questions.  no need to know what's ahead.
simply that something is.
coming slowly, surely.
and simply live.

me: currently

hi there. i'm jessi - the one who writes all this crazy stuff.  i thought it was high time i tell you who i actually am.

i come from a little desert town called ivins with beautiful red mountains, the biggest blue skies on earth, and a best friend across the street.  we had matching names, green eyes, and freckles.  i always wanted my hair to be as red as hers was.  home-schooled and happy, i grew up liking the world best from the top of a cherry tree.

currently, i still live in the top of a tree.  well, basically.  in the summer, the view from my window is a tangle of branches, only letting through the sunlight and a glimpse or two of the white-tipped mountains.  i'm a 20 year old college student, a year away from a bachelor's degree in marriage and family studies, and living what i think is too far away from family.  what am going to do with it?  well, i'm going to help people, i'm going to pay off my student loans, and i'm going to have a family of my own. someday.  although i'm in quite a typical situation for my life stage, i do it in a different way than many.  to keep myself sane and healthy (and keep a chronic illness at bay), i live with a whole foods attitude - strictly vegetarian, lots of raw fruits and veggies, minimal animal products, zero sugar, and heaps of absolutely delicious food.  i love yoga, and i love my sleep!

i believe in creative living.  painting because i feel like it, cooking because i can, studying because i'm hungry to know, sewing because i want to learn how, and loving because it's who i am.

bright colors make me happy.  so do surprises, hikes, little notes, nieces and nephews, beach music, old books, chocolate, letters, bare feet, schedules, spontaneity, triple-digit temperatures, accomplished goals, and amy butler fabric.  

this is me: currently.

and life is a precious little pattern. 

8:05 am

blurry-eyed, i peaked through the blinds to see if the sun decided to come out this morning. it did, so i kept the blinds shut.  what was today anyway? friday...no, i would remember if it were the weekend. monday. it must be monday.

then i remembered.

thursday!! with the realization that class had started five minutes ago, i flew out of bed, shoved my feet into dark skinny jeans, squirmed into a sweatshirt and whooshed out the door (remembering to pull a beanie over my bed-hair first).  considering the fact that i wasn't quite coherent when i left the house, i'm surprised i made it to class without causing any accidents, or driving around in circles because i forgot where i was going.  but i did, and only a half hour late, too!  okay, that's not really an accomplishment...  but this morning it felt like one, especially considering this is only the second time i've been late to an 8:00 class in my life.  i'm a morning person, really. just not after 3 am bedtimes.

no more late nights for me.
8:20 pm....yep. goodnight!

on a master's degree

dear future me,

when you decide to get a master's degree,


please

please

please

please

remember all the long nights and early mornings of typing as fast as your fingers will let you.  remember the days when you only have enough energy to grab an apple before running out the door.  remember the stress of deadlines.  remember the headache of being glued to your computer.  but most of all,

remember the satisfaction of your best work.  remember your passionate rampages after reading hours of research.

remember that you love it enough that it all becomes more than worth it - it becomes right.

life is wonderful hard work - love,
me.

superman

last thursday was quite the exhausting day, right from the start.  after a long morning in a class titled "forming marital relations," discussing the different types of dating styles and their motives, i received a reply to a text sent the previous day.  call me superficial.. or cheesy.. a hopeless romantic maybe. but it made my day.  for privacy's sake, it's not included (sorry to disappoint).  it told me that he couldn't ask for a better friend.  it made my heart melt.

i met superman in february (yes, the real superman).  the hectic semester couldn't quite keep us from becoming great friends.  as the semester wrapped up in a whirl (as all do luckily), we decided that 1,087 miles couldn't keep us from furthering a wonderful friendship into something... a little more.  since the end of the semester, i am mostly grateful for green smoothies, sporadically-placed sunny days, and skype (not to mention the convenience of a shared time zone).

i'm grateful for technology in general, to be honest.  but right now, what i really mean is i'm grateful for wonderful friendships and everything that make them possible - even over a large distance, and even with superman.