Saturday, June 16

texas lessons

it's storming again tonight in texas.  these storms started a pattern forming in our apartment the last month or two.  typically one of us will see the stormcloud.  one dark massive wave across the otherwise empty blue big sky - exactly how you see a storm cloud in movies if they're created by magic or something else evil and unnatural.  about an hour later, both our phones will start ringing at the same time: the storm warning.  you'd think (because of the urgent tone of the recorded man) this automated message would bring some anxious preparations so our apartment didn't blow over in the damaging winds, get struck by dangerous lightning, or be pelted into an unrecognizable ball of debris by the extremely large hale.  but that's not the case.

the phone call is the signal to get a few snacks, open the blinds all the way, turn off the lights and get ready for the show.

texas storms are one of the few incredible things about this place.

they're fierce.
wild.

dangerous.

without fail after it's subsided (and sometimes still in the middle) the sirens sound.  the roads get crazy and there's always a few unlucky drivers that can't get inside quick enough.  but, without fail, they do pass.  the storms are actually very short-lived.  the longest this far into the season is still the very first - nearly four hours of pouring rain and window-rattling thunder.  but typically they're much shorter.  an hour, sometimes almost two.  then they pass, the clouds dissipate and everything is blue and clear again.

---

for the last several months, i've started a new routine at the gym.  heck, in the last few months i've started going to the gym for the first time in my life!  running's old news sometimes and i wanted to try my hand (or back..and legs, really) at weight-lifting.  so i've started dabbling.  typically i'll run (okay, okay.. and walk more) for a half hour, then sit on weird machines (or lift up big heavy objects that were only created so i could lift them then put them back down) for another fifteen or so.

sometimes i want to stop so so much.  the gym's unnatural to me.  i like to run outside in the clear where there's no one else in the entire wold - just me and the mountains and the sky.  but it's not safe to run in abilene and so i'm learning to be thankful for gyms.  (yes, even if texas food is twice the portions it ought to be and the healthy food movement has yet to hit the big country they do have a few gyms in this town - a few.)  but anyway.  working out, both running and weight lifting, are... well, i love it.  afterward.  okay, sometimes i love what i'm doing during, but not all the time - definitely not a lot.  the point is i love that while i'm doing it i burn.  i get totally and completely out of breath.  i think my legs aren't going to carry me.  i shake.  but then i walk out of the gym, take some deep breaths in the car, have a long drink of water... and everything goes back to normal.

---

the big point is all things pass.

texas storms are furious and frightening at times.  but they pass.
going to the gym makes me feel like i'm going to die, and sometimes i do for an hour afterward.  but then it passes and i go back to normal.  okay, better than normal (let's be honest, who doesn't love those endorphins?)

everything passes.
the rain.
the burning in my lower-half.
texas.
a tiny apartment.
and having no money.

all things pass.  that's what texas is teaching me these days - a funny thing for a town that looks like it's been here since the beginning of time to teach me that all things will pass eventually.  but they will.  and at the end of the next year and a half texas will reinforce that lesson by letting me leave and go back to places that believe in health food.  and city drainage systems.  and mountains.

yeah.  texas, too, will pass.


(for me, at least.  to all those who came here expecting it to be only a few months or years and are still here after 30 years, my heart goes out to you.  it weeps for you.  but, in all honesty, i will never be one of you.)