angry old man.

some of the most brilliant ideas come to me while i'm cutting fruit.  at work this morning, i sliced up a pineapple, mango, kiwis and strawberries.  during the first fruit, a man came by to complain {for the sixtieth time} that we did not offer free coffee refills and to threaten that if we didn't offer free refills soon we would no longer have the pleasure of his business.  i kindly told him the decision had been made for a 10% off discount on refills and there would be no further adjustments.  {although what i really wanted to say was that we could survive very well without his business, thank you very much, and would he please take his ancient suit out of the store and go pout on someone else's tables.}  after he left, i seethed into that stupid mango.  i hated customers.  i wanted him to take his unwelcome opinion and put it in his coffin, then jump in himself.

and then i noticed what i was actually feeling.  invalidated.  completely invalidated.  like what i said had no weight and could not sway or sooth this man at all.  to put salt on the wound, i had told this same man last week that we were rethinking our refill policies {which we were}.  however, my manager decided against grossly discounting customers' second cup after i'd talked to the man.  then the man talked to my manager and told him that i said that he could have a free refill.  {again, invalidation.}

by this point in my train of thought, i'd moved on to the second fruit.  and while cutting the second fruit, i realized that if i was feeling invalidated, there was something i could do about it.  my emotional state, confidence, security and safety did not depend on that brat of a man.

so i started slicing strawberries faster.  and with each stroke, i told myself

i am divine.

i am a daughter of God.  and that means i'm royalty.  and that means i matter - a lot.

i can be happy no matter where i am or what i'm doing.

my emotions are a decision and i can choose not to be frustrated and let that man ruin my day.

i am beautiful.

i am worth it.

i am working for my family and providing a way for us to live our dreams.  and that's important.

by the fourth fruit, i was mostly happy.  and an hour later, i was smiling.

small victories are sometimes the best part of the day.

also, next time that man complains to me i'm going to tell him to take his homemade coffee and sit inside the starbucks next door if he's not going to buy anything.  when i get old, i want to be nothing like him.