minor

for the last few weeks {monthish} i've been contemplating quite a few very large decisions.  for example:

• internship winter semester or summer semester?
• internship in provo or anywhere in the world?
• ...which internship??
• after april graduation, what next -
• frantic search for full-time job to cover expenses?
• yoga certification?
• stay in provo?
• move back to st. george?
• move...anywhere else?
• LDS mission (which very recently became a possibility with the closeness of my 21st birthday)?
• if so, mission in january? april? later?

in short, i have been overwhelmed with the options.  naturally, when one has a list of possible opportunities this long, one chooses something that was never on the list to begin with.  which is exactly what i did.

art minor!

that's right, my mourning days are over.  i am now an official visual arts minor, and i don't have to cry out in jealousy every time i meet an illustration major.  true, this decision pushes my graduation out another semester.  now, the date is december - slightly more than a year away.  that's a daunting thought, surely.  but after considering all the many options in my life right now, the only one that feels right is just to stay put for a little while longer.  and to compound that, it makes more sense than the rest do.  now, the possibility of finding a paid internship (that i'll love) will be considerably easier because i can look during the summer without worrying about graduation.

i do have one concern: money.
but my reasoning is thus: money was the one factor that almost stopped me from coming to this university to begin with (which, i feel, has been one of the best decisions in my life).  so, if money wasn't a good enough reason to stop that, it's not enough to stop this.  money will work itself out, somehow.

i also have one soapbox:
a pet-peeve, of sorts.  it drives me crazy when boys and girls stay in college for eternity playing around.  they take all the fun classes, perpetually put off making decisions about their major and future in general.  i think this exemplifies the stereotype of my generation - the generation that doesn't know how to grow up and take the reins.  i am decidedly not doing this.  i realized this was a large reason for my rush through school - the goal of graduating with my bachelors when i was twenty.  but guess what?  i realized adding a minor wasn't considered playing around - and i can still have a lot of fun doing it!

so there you go.

i'm now very settled with my decision to do what i'm passionate about (study families), while also incorporating one of my first loves into my education (art).

and i can't wait to step into that art building.

with full confidence that someday, my studio will look like this.

this is why i love summer projects...

i was born an artist.  every time i meet another illustration major, my heart sighs more and i can only say, "oh! that's so incredible, i'm jealous!"  and really, i am a little.  i know i'm doing what i'm supposed to be, college-wise at least, and i'm happy with it - i love it, in fact!  but when a new acquaintance asks what my major is and i reply (in the most academic voice i can muster), "marriage and family studies," the reaction is not quite what i'd like it to be.  while most simply reply, "oh that's nice."  at least two eccentric old men have guffawed, "HA! you're at byu! isn't everyone studying that? what's your real major?"

believe me, i was not amused.

it's at times like that when i'm a little more jealous of my almost-classmates, the art majors.

i changed my major upon entering byu a year ago.  yesterday, i dusted off my watercolor box and oil pastels.  it's been soooo long.  much much too long.  true, i'm extremely rusty.  but that is absolutely not what matters.  i remembered, as i always do after a long break, how much i adore art.  how much i live to paint.  how my soul sings when can create with color.  i made a vow when i switched from art to social science, that if i was going to let myself study anything other than art, i would never stop painting.  since then, it's been almost a year completely void of paint.  so i'm repenting.  i'm picking up my brushes, buying more canvas and renewing my vow.

and.  as a note to remind myself that art is an important piece of my soul....

dear future,
if you ever get another degree, please please please let it be an art degree.  grant a little self-indulgence and just do it.
love a canvas-deprived you.

to make

over the summer, i created a habit of continual creative outlet; i was always painting walls and shelves, gluing fabric and beads, and ripping magazine photos for inspiration.  sadly (but expectedly), after the move the busy-level kicked up too many notches and the creative juices were squished into the back of my mind to slowly start to leak away.  however, last night i made a resolution: no matter how busy i become, i simply cannot ignore the pesky little pop-up window on the screen of my mind encouraging me to "make, make, make..." no matter how many times i click the "X" button, the pop up returns. so today, i am fighting back against the busy-ness, giving in the tempting pop-up window, and i am going to make!  today was jewelry mostly, accompanied by some music and some food (the one thing that i have absolutely continued to make time to make).
so, from the past and the present:

the jessica tree

my deco-mirror, absolutely more exciting in person.

an image can never do a mirror justice.

fabric necklaces, definitely more to come of these.

i'm just warming up.

as cute as a button earrings

after today, i would like to re-think my life, drop out of school, and simply spend all of my time making.  however, since making a difference is more important than making food and jewelry, i will have to continue looking forward toward my saturdays - my make-days.