What I'm Reading

Today, I'm midway through the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, and it is wonderful. It's one of those books that makes you think so differently than you ever have before - about your experiences in life, about where your life is headed, and about God. My relationship with God.

One idea in the book is to set aside time in your life for private worship - not just a minute here and there in prayer, but actual time. Several hours a week, even, of true worship. It got me thinking of what connects me most to God. In what ways do I feel closest to God and most loved by Him? When do I feel like He is most aware of me? I'm not one who has an easy time feeling extremely close to God at church. I love serving in the church at times; I know the ordinances there are necessary and deeply good for me. ...And often there are just too many distractions for me to really feel connected to God. Sometimes there are too many other people in the way, or their words just aren't pure truths that ring in my heart.

Immediately, I think of being outside. In nature, in the mountains. That's when I feel most connected to my Heavenly Father. When I can wander in the mountains and enjoy the absolute pure beauty all around me that He created for me, my soul sings worship. When I'm enjoying His natural creations, my heart naturally turns toward Him.

When I think about spending several hours a week in worship, being in nature could be a large part of it for me. I'm on a search for other things that make me feel naturally worshipful, that help me feel the devotion to God that I have and develop it further. Early quiet mornings, sometimes stillness and sometimes song. I know making music swells my heart in that way and helps me feel His touch on my heart, as does listening to the Christian rock station on my way to and from work at times. There I find messages meant just for me.

From a marriage retreat I attended over a year ago, I remember a list given to me of different ways that we fallen creatures can connect with the Divine. I think there were twelve categories. While I don't remember most, I know things like meditation and connection with others appeared on the list, along with other contradictions. We can experience God in our lives in so many different ways. Some seem so contradicting because we're all so different - we come to God naturally in very very different ways. I'd like to expand my horizons - seek out new ways in which to know God, for myself.

Today, that might mean conversation more centered on Christ. Tomorrow, perhaps a walk by the lake on my own. For certain, this book is a new way in and of itself, and inside it are so many ways to deepen my relationship with God and let him heal my heart.

fascinating womanhood: a review

have you read this book?

because if not, you should.

fascinating womanhood, by helen andelin, was one of those books that opened my eyes and changed the way i think.  it played to my already inclined opinions.  true, i was teased the entire time i read, with my red pen in hand, by my sisters natalie and hailey.  the subtitle, how the ideal woman awakens a man's deepest love and tenderness, was a little too much for them to stomach without snickering every time they saw me buried in my book.  

believe me, i was a little skeptical as well when my mom suggested the book.  after all, the almost-1950's throwback to the suppressed lifestyle of housedress-wearing, grin-and-bear-it sort of woman doesn't exactly sound ideal, right?  well, i can sure say i was wrong!  the image painted of the "ideal woman" by andelin is beautiful.  something to truly aspire to.  she paints the characteristics of femininity with women from history and the great classics, showing the modern-day woman how to return to their true feminine nature.  the more i read, the more i realized how in-line her teachings were with my own beliefs about correct roles for women and men, husbands and wives.  And to add to her own insight, she incorporates scripture and principles taught by Christ.

Now, for a embarrassing little secret: i fall easily for books slightly leaning toward the "self help" category.  Titles like 7 habits of highly effective people and tables of contents revealing assignments make my heart race a tiny bit and my imagination flare up.  i know, i know.  this seems a little... well, unsophisticated?  but my logic is this: we're on this planet to help each other.  books leaning in this direction are simply advice from a more experienced person to those willing to learn, their way of helping out humanity, and i like that.  not to say that i prefer these books more than another kind; i live for great literature.  these are simply a little guilty pleasure.  besides, the scriptures are the best self helps books to speak of.  but, i digress.  fascinating womanhood has assignments and self-evaluations.  i loved it because it helped me start the process of changing little habits i have and work toward a solid goal.

i evaluated my conversation - i'm still working on the gossip thing, as most college girls are, but i've greatly improved.  i've started steering conversation toward others to show my interest in other people more than in myself.  and (this one is fun!) i've worked on my tone of voice, inserting more emotion into my daily exchanges.  believe me, changing my tone alone did wonders for my attitude.  when i decided to speak as though i were bubbling with happiness, i found i actually was!  it's been an unexpected discovery in my journey of thought processes.

i've started wearing dresses and skirts more than anything else.  after all, i prefer them over pants and shorts so much that it was a little ridiculous how little i wore more feminine clothing.  

i've decided to stop cracking my knuckles - a nasty habit i've had for years.

if i wrote all the little things i'd marked and evaluated since this read, it would be eons long.  so i won't.  there are so many mannerisms and habits my eyes have been opened to.  if i could pick the most surprising and interesting section of the book, it would be the topic of being childlike.  it's a Christian teaching i think is largely not understood, at least by me.  andelin's view of becoming childlike was approachable, and it made sense to me.

disregarding the fact that i fell in love with andelin's view of womanhood, this is a book i feel is historically important.  written in response to the popular book of the feminist movement, the feminine mystique, andelin's writings represent the flip-side of the modern woman, a strength in feminism with a religious acknowledgement to the divine role of womanhood.

to sum up, my grandmother read fascinating womanhood after her marriage and gave the book to my mother in high school.  in turn, my mother gave the book to me.  in years to come, i dream of placing it in the hands of my daughters, passing on the knowledge of divine womanhood and encouraging the growth of correct femininity.

it's a read i would absolutely recommend! but be prepared to change the way think about yourself, your role as a woman, and what you can accomplish through developing stronger characteristics of feminism!

ps. while sorting through some of my mom's recipes today with natalie, we came across a simply luscious pie recipe.  as a last note on the recipe card, the writer had encouragingly added, "zero calories if cut into 99 pieces!!"  we had quite a laugh and ended up disrupting hailey's piano student.  oh what a day!

okay, so i get a little obsessive...

fablehaven: my latest finished fantasy obsession.

i finished the very last book today.  and it was spectacular!  it contained all the good things a perfect fantasy series is supposed to end with.  a little bittersweetness over what was lost, joy at the discovered peace, reflection on the learned lessons, and {of course} the best guy gets the best girl.  really, i'm a little amazed at how quickly brandon mull rapped up the plot.  with 75 pages to go lat night, i was certain he was going to have to break his promise to readers and write another book.  but. to my joyful surprise, he proved worthy of his title as a fantasy author (unlike christopher paolini who {despite his original goal to write a trilogy} extended his last book another thousand pages only to continue the story line and loose more than half his follows by announcing a fourth book in the trilogy {can there be four books in a trilogy?} but. back to the point...).  

one of my favorite elements of brandon mull's stories is the correct portrayal of consequences.  maybe i obsess too much, but i'll never forget when seth was transformed into a walrus for his mistake.  i love the encouragement to look to the older generation for advice and help.  the character development is exquisite, building and solidifying with each book.  with a turn or tug at the end of every chapter, i never once was bored.  i even finished this book during a semester (something i haven't accomplished in years).  AND! it's clean - not a foul word or scene in the entire series, which, especially with fantasy, is rare.

enough with the extended praise, though.  if you haven't read fablehaven, read it.  it's a page-turner. it's an adventure.  it's something you can relate to.  it's something you can escape with.

and it's something i've added to my list of favorite fantasies.  mull now holds a place in the section of my heart's library also containing tolkien, cs lewis, and lloyd alexander.  now, that is praise.

ps. don't get me wrong, paolini started out as a superb author (page-turning creativity), but really? a trilogy just can't contain four books - it's logically impossible.  and. when i set out to read a trilogy, i don't want to be drug (against my will) into the perpetual world of a twenty-year old boy's fifteen book series.  no thank you. 

i love you, nathaniel eaton.

i had a flashback today.  i think at least 75% middle school girls daydream about the school's quarterback, basketball captain, or another macho real-life epitome of "modern masculinity".  the other 25% is a hodgepodge of girls who either have their head on straight or their head in the clouds: 1) girls who can already see that their interests are better served away from the over-popularized jocks, and 2) the real daydreamers - the ones smitten with book characters.  i was the latter.  and nathaniel eaton was my kind of man.

anyone who's read "the witch of blackbird pond" will agree that it is just one of those books that touches you deep down inside.  that understands what being different feels like.  that teaches about real friendship.  that shows you things will all work out in the end.  in short, if this book were a person, it would be my kindred spirit.  if kit tyler was a real girl, i'm positive we would get along fabulously.  it's one of those books that someday i'll pull off my bookshelf and hand to my teenage daughter, because she needs to know that it's okay to be different or understand the value of true friendship and determination.

really, it's no surprise that nat eaton became my crush of all time.  i connected with the plot so much that i think it was sort of inevitable, despite his relatively small role in the story.  

today, i saw a boy who reminded me very much of nat.  same brown unkempt hair as the nat in my head, with the same sailor-tanned skin and mostly average looks.  and i remembered how absolutely head over heals for this fictional ideal of a romancer i used to be.  true, he did burn down the house kit's fiancée built for her, and a few times when the plot absolutely demanded his comforting presence, he was absent.  but. even though his absent life as a sailor kept him away, he was her friend.

he jumped into the ocean to rescue her - even though she knew how to swim.

and you have to admit, there's something beautifully romantic about burning down the house his competitor built - and to woo their subject, too (with jack-o-lanterns, of all things)... not to mention the fact that he was sailor.  in books, that's usually all it takes to spell romantic.

so, nathaniel eaton, i loved you.  and i don't think it was all that bad of a daydream, either.  it taught me to value friendship - in more ways than one.  it taught me that i could be loved, even if i felt very, very different from the other girls.  and it formed a schema for relational friendship, a standard, so to speak, for the boys that would befriend me in the future.

yep.  good flashback. 

now back to reality: on the subject of fabulous friends, a surprise present came to my door yesterday!
flowers for jessica.  guess who they were from?

they were from superman.

i'm a lucky girl.  after all, how many people get flowers from superman, anyway?