i have roommates to back me up when i forget my camera.

my candied orange scones.  i told you they were delicious. 

for the recipe, go here.

on travel

i'm feeling antsy in provo, today.
it's an adventure - but some days i'm not sure if it's big enough for me,
or if it's my adventure for more than a short while longer,
it's a growing feeling, and i can't pinpoint when it started.

it must have been somewhere between a cross-cultural family development course
in which i have no previous experience with other cultures
and most of the others do.
the seed could have been planted when natalie left for london,
but more likely when she came home -
with descriptions of the markets, the food, the diversity.

it might have been before that:
something of my own doing, by displaying
the beautiful hand-painted blue turkish bowl.
the intricate spoon from uruguay.
an eiffel tower lamp, always hovering above my bed.
a miniature vintage mannequin - from natalie, in london.
a desktop image of italy.

last night, i was {yet again} opened to the possibilities.
my friends sat around me, talking about
the places they'd been
things they'd seen

i've always been content at home.
happy to let others travel and see their spoils,
but it's getting to me.

and i'm antsy in provo.
hopefully just today.

excursions

it's been three weeks since i moved from my beautiful sunny red mountains to the mysterious green and cloudy ones.  it's crazy how fast times flies - especially once classes begin and all thoughts of the passing of time (except for the upcoming deadlines) just sort of... fly out the window?  anyway, it's been a crazy three weeks.  natalie and i laughed so hard at the end of the first week because it had taken us so long to move in!  an entire week and there were still boxes everywhere.  so, to get away from the boxes, we decided to take a little trip.

notice natalie, buried behind all the boxes and completely unable to come out of her room.  this is why we needed a getaway.

we also needed haircuts; it had been a terribly long time.  so we took a little drive up to my aunt julie's for a trusted trim (and new bangs for natalie).  afterward, the real fun began.  we drove a little further north, to the gateway mall - i'd never been before, and considering the rather landmarkish destination point it is, we figured it would be worth the short drive from my aunt's to the mall.  and oh, oh oh, it was.  

my favorite part of the day: anthropology.  i'm a long-time catalog collector (the photography is so artfully beautiful!), but i'd never actually been inside the physical store, just the mental one.  luckily, we hit some killer sales, as well.  who would pass up a pair of two-hundred dollar pants for thirty dollars? not me, certainly!

the aprons were to die for.

and the home decor practically screamed my name.

two happy girls!

kitty missness

"WE the people of the johansen household, in order to form a more peaceful union, establish regular sleeping habits, insure domestic tranquility, provide for collective mental sanity, promote the general well-being, and secure the blessings of family peace and love to ourselves and our posterity, do plea for the complete surrender of hostilities and warfare between co-residing domestic felines everywhere."

this, the preamble to the extermination of feline contention, was written a little over a year ago by yours truly.  our two little cats had kept us (the entire family) awake for the past consecutive week with their midnight battles.  we were to the point of separation - breaking up the family, so to speak (although after two class periods in part devoted to the subject, i understand the cats in actuality never could be a part of our family system).  

it's funny how frustrated with the two little fur-balls we were.  now, i would give quite a bit to have them fighting in my apartment at night.  i miss these two just as much as i miss my family, especially waking up in the middle of the night being pushed off the bed because they wanted to snuggle so close.

i can't wait to see my holly and merlin!

baby holly (ticky), falling off the bed.

mr. merlin (merlincito), a little camera shy.

the LOVE game: III

1. i love coming home to a clean room with white sheets and pillowcases.
2. i love wearing aprons (even when i'm not cooking).
3. i love sunday afternoons, quiet and rejuvenating.
4. i love the counter after my roommates and i go shopping - as if we've stolen the entire produce section.
5. i love doing yoga with the lights off and my eyes closed {eleven-o-clock at night}.
6. i love the sunlight that streams through my window from four to six everyday making yellow stripes across my bed and walls.
7. i love walking through the streets of provo, dreaming up stories for the impossibly-perfect houses, and feeling content doing so.
8. i love ginger tea in the evenings, snuggled in the folds of my grandma-made quilt.
9. i love eating in a group, passing the food like family, talking about design or art and tasting exotic chocolate.
10. i love taking the time to drink in a moment or conversation with all the senses, committing it to a place of memory deeper than description.

the perks of waking up an hour and a half late

that's right.  this morning i was having an absolutely random dream.  so much so that i bet i was smiling and trying not to laugh at all the characters in my sleep {because you know, they would have heard me and thought i was impolite}.  naturally, it startled me a little when natalie burst into my room at 7:20 and shouted in surprise, "JESSI!"  i was supposed to wake up at 6:00.  so during the ten minutes in which i got ready for the day (and still had time to put on mascara - yeah, i'm that good), my planner and my unfinished homework were giving me a guilt trip.  luckily, i wasn't more than 30 seconds late to class: me, win; failed alarm clock, eat that.

it took me half-way through my 8:00 class to be fully conscious, but i was entirely physically present.  by the time i was conscious, i was annoyed.  BUT as you know, i've been working diligently on this mental process called stubborn, obstinate happiness.  hehe, i won!  that alone, i think, is a little manifestation that in my head things are going splendidly!

now, the upside:

because natalie is a saint, i still ate breakfast this morning (and oh was it ever yummy, thanks to our returned blender and my sister's pro-smoothie skills).  unfortunately, waking up late in combination with the fact that i ran out of pre-frozen meals in tupperware two days ago meant that did not have time to pack a lunch.  one goal i have this semester is to eat out as little as possible.  but i had to eat!  during my hour break, i stood in line at subway, ordered my veggie delight, read the rest of the ecology of human development for my next class, and ate my sandwich.

the student center is a fabulous place to eat lunch because 1) there are so many people to distract me from my homework and 2) i just love to watch them!  sitting at a table adjacent to mine was a son and his father.  for the first few minutes, i couldn't for the life of me figure out what in the world they were doing.  then it hit me.  when they sat down, before touching their food (and both with a newspaper in front of them), the son simply said, "GO."  there they sat, pencils in hand, racing each other in today's cross-word puzzle.  isn't that incredible?  it made me smile for the next hour!  the dad won, by the way, and in relief the son began ravenously chowing down on an enormous burger.  it must have been commonplace to them.  the way they didn't have to communicate about what was happening, but just raced (with, i imagine, a strict rule of no food-touching until one of us wins).

maybe my major just turns me into a crazy person, but isn't that one of the silliest, neatest family traditions ever?

i love crazy families!

singing tastebuds

candied orange scones

...interested?

this was a late night experiment that passed the test with flying colors!  of course, i'm sure it helped that we were devouring these while watching the young victoria, so my taste buds weren't the only thing in bliss.

for the scones:

2 cups whole wheat flour

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp nutmeg 

1/4 cup applesauce

2 tsp olive oil

1/2 cup chopped pecans

1/4 cup plain greek yogurt

2 1/2 tbsp rice milk (or soy, whichever you prefer)

2 tsp vanilla

1 1/2 tsp orange extract

1/4 cup agave syrup

first, preheat your oven to 375 degrees.  combine the flour, salt, baking powder, soda, cinnamon and nutmeg and mix well.  with a fork (or your fingers!), mix in the applesauce and oil until crumbly and stir in the chopped pecans.

in a separate bowl, whisk everything else together, then combine the wet and dry ingredients in the bigger bowl until well mixed (i feel like captain obvious writing these directions tonight for some reason...).  shape into little flat circles (about the size of your palm) and place on a greased baking sheet.  bake for 18-19 minutes or until golden brown.

*i didn't have any on hand, but after tasting these, they really would be incredible with about a teaspoon of orange zest included, and if you're feeling super ambitious, you could replace the rice or soy milk with orange juice.

i served these with homemade candied pecans and coconut (at the insistence and courtesy of natalie) and orange chocolate sauce for drizzling.

the candied pecans were a combination of whole pecans, agave syrup, coconut oil, cinnamon and shredded coconut all simmered in a pan until toasty!

for the orange chocolate sauce, i whisked together cocoa, agave syrup, vanilla (extra, extra) and orange extract.  once again, this would have been even more decadent with orange zest instead or in addition to the extract.

believe me, these were a mighty success!  i loved every last bite.  to make it even better, my tummy loved every bite just as much - they weren't too sweet even for a late-night snack!

sorry, though. no pictures this time!  it was a little too late and i was a little too hungry for orange scones to be playing around with my camera.  next time, for sure i'll snag some.  they were beautiful: orangy with all the candied yum and drizzled with chocolate - it looked like christmas to me!

enjoy life!

the blur: what a week.

this has been an extraordinary week of people.  the first week of school is always a reminder of how much i simply love to see so many different kinds of people every single day (in hindsight that is).  you see, while i love being flung into that consistent byu culture, which feels more like a melting pot to me than it probably does to most people, it's also a week of unusual adjectives.

this week, i laughed so hard i cried; i ate the most glorious breakfast - twice.  i almost brought a hammer to campus just so i could smash the microwave (jfsb basement) that i could not for my life figure out how to use.  there was a day that made me so sick to my stomach that i sprawled on my bedroom floor for over an hour before crawling into bed.  i reconnected with a few potential kindred spirits (on that note, i think it's about time for an anne of green gables marathon soon, don't you?).  although a huge improvement from last year, i found myself almost entirely lost three times.  i made several chillingly large decisions, with only the threat of tears.  i realized the possibilities tied to the fact that my twenty-first birthday is in two months, and the potentials almost made me hyperventilate.  i experienced that knife-to-the-back sensation when you understand that no matter how much you want something, the obtaining is completely out of your control.  i scheduled an appointment with the internship coordinator for next tuesday - talk about scary!  i awoke to a quarter-sized black spider directly above my nose, and i probably would have died if beth hadn't come along.  oh yeah, and i ran four miles (yay, me!).

i think that gives at least a feel for the emotional roller coaster this week has been.  after all was said and done, i now know where all of my classes are (not to mention the indoor track and weight room).  luckily, there were a few blessed people that stabilized my week a tad bit:

sprint boy: we could never really decide upon an approximate age, but he was hysterical.  after natalie's subconscious made the choice to put her phone through the washer, we found ourselves sitting for nearly an hour listening to his bored ramblings (on a friday night).  i very nearly gifted the flower sticky notes in my purse after he asked for the needed number fifteen times.

julia:  meet the beautiful italian waitress (who, of course, works at olive garden).  she gave us way more cheese than was wanted or needed and i loved her for it.  she called us "my love" in italian (we think), "her pretties," and told us more than once to "enjoy life and hold on to our credit cards!"  truthfully, through her incredible accent and flamboyant eye makeup, i caught only about two-thirds of what she said.

allison: a new friend in my advanced family processes class in a very similar life situation with the portrayal of an entirely more firm grip on life than i can admit to possess this week.  a short little conversation after class and my motivation and confidence in my decision-making ability bounced back up to a little above normal.  don't you love when you need someone to just show you that it's possible to take the next few steps and they land right in one of your classes?  i do.

so that's the week!  and now that i'm slightly more settled in a routine, i won't be doing anymore week-long sum-ups {hopefully}.  now to conquer the world!  ...and do some homework.  :)

happy birthday blog!!

on august 30, 2009

my blog was born.

well, the first post at least.  i was sitting around the edges of our family room with my sisters for much longer than a day during the actual creation and naming process.

in honor of paisley's first birthday, i'll share the incident that created her name.

it all started with hailey.  we read aloud to each other often, all different sorts of books.

we were in the middle of the eragon series (which i'm sad to say, i'm not a fan anymore).

it was the height of tension: a man tied to a stone slab and about to be sacrificed to evil beasts.

and then suddenly,

"he was stricken with paisley!

palsy, actually.  he was stricken with a palsy.  but hailey didn't say that.  she clearly (and intensely) read

"paisley."

and that was the beginning.

we laughed so hard we cried and our sides ached.

the mental image of huge patterned paisley-shaped somethings shooting from the rocks around the poor almost-sacrificed man was too much to bear.

the phrase sat patiently on a sticky note (attached to a magnet board) for almost a year before it became the monument of my record keeping and a constant reminder of sisterly affection {not to mention the persistent reminder of the good laughing at a silly mistake can make}.

the phrase evolved, with time.  it's become a symbol of what life (especially in college) can do to people.

all those bright colors spinning around you, so many and so close that you can barely make sense of it.

but when you back up,

you begin to see that it isn't really chaos at all.

it's a pattern.

unique

brilliant

all your own.

and then you realize your pattern isn't the only one.

sometimes it weaves in and out, through others.  mixing colors, picking up polka dots or stripes.

and that's just the beginning of seeing the real big pattern.

because after all, 

we're all stricken with paisley together here, aren't we?

week one in number 103

wow!  in the chaos of moving, this little blog journal has been neglected.  this past week has been such a flurry; it feels as if i've only been in provo a couple of days, and at the same time it's like i never left.  there's two constants in provo: couples holding hands everywhere and a non-stop steaming of owl city in all the restaurants and stores.

it's been almost one week {tomorrow} that i've been back.  i've opened boxes, gotten bruises, opened boxes, hung pictures, opened boxes, grocery shopped, organized my closet, bought my books, almost cut my little toe off, opened more boxes, put together an end-table, moved furniture, and ran around like a headless chicken most of the week.  i still have an incredible amount to accomplish!

looking back, i realized that one year ago tomorrow, i started this blog to document my adventures while attending byu, as one who was not so certain this happy valley idea was her thing.  in memory of my first post, written the day before the first day of class {today}, i'm taking a little walk down memory lane -- and staring over this year's brink a little as well.

first, read my first post.  now, here's some commentary:

i live across the street from the second level, moderate-sized apartment of last year, in the building with the frills (which i have decided look convincingly like pineapples).  i love the old houses with the broken shutters next door more than almost anything.  as it turned out, the convenient parking garage located beneath the complex of little 205 was a more hospitable place than i realized.  periodic break-ins, scary looking skaters, and glass from shattered windows soon became no surprise in the garage.  luckily for me, my little green punky brewster car was never harmed, nor was i.  provo still seems larger than a medium-sized city, although not quite like new york or hong kong.  i'll admit freely, i am still capable of becoming hilariously lost.  but after nailing down the few main roads (and carrying a map of campus around in my head and my backpack) things became much easier.

although changed considerably from last year, i am still not ordinary.

california-girl-beth lives next to my frilly pineapple complex in a quaint yellow house.  na li, who was as mysterious the day she moved out as the first day we moved in, is around town somewhere, still finishing her chemistry degree and, i imagine, still having midnight solitary fashion shows with her roommate's full-length mirrors.  natalie is with me still, thank goodness.  i can't begin to say how grateful i am that we're still living together.  we are still attempting to keep each other sane, and a little more healthy this semester.

this year, we've added two more girls to our apartment ingredient list.  beth, or elizabeth, is a kindred spirit and long lost sister that served in the same mission as natalie.  the day that a small public bus broke down in uruguay was a fateful day.  you see, natalie and beth were both on that bus.  i awoke to her singing yesterday and it made my heart smile.  she loves to make almost-vegan cupcakes with me, and lets me cuddle with her. genny, or genevieve, is beth's younger sister.  with six years between them and five between natalie and i, if you lined up all our ages, we could all be one big sister-family.  genny is a saint.  she brings a beautiful, sweet, calm presence that i prayed this apartment would find.  she did my dishes this morning, and if you know me, you know that almost nothing makes my day more than finished dishes i didn't do.  it's going to work splendidly, i think, the four of us.

this is the brink.  the day before we all began classes.  i don't expect to get lost.  i'm not particularly nervous.  but i am expectant, excited, and quite curious.  i'm trying a lot of new things this semester.  i'm an incredibly new me than i was a year ago.  this is my last year, and i can't wait to see what's in store for me.

i miss my kitties, still terribly.  i have a thousand pictures to hang on my bulliton board.
and i really can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring.  it's like being at the top of a roller coaster, the part when you can't see over the edge, and that alone takes your breath away.
adventure awaits.

and class begins tomorrow.