What I'm Reading

Today, I'm midway through the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, and it is wonderful. It's one of those books that makes you think so differently than you ever have before - about your experiences in life, about where your life is headed, and about God. My relationship with God.

One idea in the book is to set aside time in your life for private worship - not just a minute here and there in prayer, but actual time. Several hours a week, even, of true worship. It got me thinking of what connects me most to God. In what ways do I feel closest to God and most loved by Him? When do I feel like He is most aware of me? I'm not one who has an easy time feeling extremely close to God at church. I love serving in the church at times; I know the ordinances there are necessary and deeply good for me. ...And often there are just too many distractions for me to really feel connected to God. Sometimes there are too many other people in the way, or their words just aren't pure truths that ring in my heart.

Immediately, I think of being outside. In nature, in the mountains. That's when I feel most connected to my Heavenly Father. When I can wander in the mountains and enjoy the absolute pure beauty all around me that He created for me, my soul sings worship. When I'm enjoying His natural creations, my heart naturally turns toward Him.

When I think about spending several hours a week in worship, being in nature could be a large part of it for me. I'm on a search for other things that make me feel naturally worshipful, that help me feel the devotion to God that I have and develop it further. Early quiet mornings, sometimes stillness and sometimes song. I know making music swells my heart in that way and helps me feel His touch on my heart, as does listening to the Christian rock station on my way to and from work at times. There I find messages meant just for me.

From a marriage retreat I attended over a year ago, I remember a list given to me of different ways that we fallen creatures can connect with the Divine. I think there were twelve categories. While I don't remember most, I know things like meditation and connection with others appeared on the list, along with other contradictions. We can experience God in our lives in so many different ways. Some seem so contradicting because we're all so different - we come to God naturally in very very different ways. I'd like to expand my horizons - seek out new ways in which to know God, for myself.

Today, that might mean conversation more centered on Christ. Tomorrow, perhaps a walk by the lake on my own. For certain, this book is a new way in and of itself, and inside it are so many ways to deepen my relationship with God and let him heal my heart.