overcoming the programming

day twelve.

question: what wears you out as a woman?

well. . . i don't want to be a downer.  we're trying to keep a positive attitude here!  so, i'm tweaking this question slightly.  creative liberty, yaknow.

right now, the thing that wears me out is something i very much have control over - but i don't always keep it in check.  social comparison is a killer, sometimes silent, sometimes not so much.  i was in church last sunday singing the opening hymn when a girl behind me leaned over and to her roommate whispered (about the chorister) she's so skinny and beautiful!  social comparison is rampant around here {and really everywhere among women today}.  i catch myself at the indoor track sometimes thinking things like i would love to look like her or if i could have anyone's body, it would be hers.

it's more than hard to put a stop to all of that when it's in your mind.  but it's absolutely necessary.

social comparison is one of the most wearing things we do to ourselves and {in my opinion} one of the most difficult to overcome.  i'm far from saying i'm over it - it wears me out, i'll admit it!

but it's also important to know how to combat those things that wear us down.

i'm not the expert here, either.  but there are a few things i've tried that help me out!

1. look other women in the eye.  when i compare myself to others, i really don't think i'm thinking about them as women - women who suffer the same wear and tear i do, women who are my equals.  as i focus on looking at other girls in the eye, i take my focus away from comparing my body to theirs and place it on our common ground.  after all, they are women just like me.

2. list things everyday (start with five, then ten...) that you love about your body.  i started this a while back, and at first being sincere with myself was incredibly difficult.  but as i've continued, i find there really are things that are uniquely mine - that i can love about my body today.

3. wear comfortable clothing.  when i'm having a bit of a down-on-myself day despite my efforts, uncomfortable clothes make me want to stay home and never look at myself or other women again!  but if i'm comfortable, i don't think about it as much - i can forget about the way i look and focus on the task at hand.

4. have a hobby.  pick something you love to do - that you love so much you want to think about it all the time.  in situations where i feel myself falling to social comparison, i pull out my love box.  i think about the things i love to do, to create, that make me feel fulfilled.  it restores the sense of self-worth i need to keep my mind away from making comparisons.

do you have tips to avoid negative social comparison?