i was born an artist. every time i meet another illustration major, my heart sighs more and i can only say, "oh! that's so incredible, i'm jealous!" and really, i am a little. i know i'm doing what i'm supposed to be, college-wise at least, and i'm happy with it - i love it, in fact! but when a new acquaintance asks what my major is and i reply (in the most academic voice i can muster), "marriage and family studies," the reaction is not quite what i'd like it to be. while most simply reply, "oh that's nice." at least two eccentric old men have guffawed, "HA! you're at byu! isn't everyone studying that? what's your real major?"
believe me, i was not amused.
it's at times like that when i'm a little more jealous of my almost-classmates, the art majors.
i changed my major upon entering byu a year ago. yesterday, i dusted off my watercolor box and oil pastels. it's been soooo long. much much too long. true, i'm extremely rusty. but that is absolutely not what matters. i remembered, as i always do after a long break, how much i adore art. how much i live to paint. how my soul sings when can create with color. i made a vow when i switched from art to social science, that if i was going to let myself study anything other than art, i would never stop painting. since then, it's been almost a year completely void of paint. so i'm repenting. i'm picking up my brushes, buying more canvas and renewing my vow.
and. as a note to remind myself that art is an important piece of my soul....
dear future,
if you ever get another degree, please please please let it be an art degree. grant a little self-indulgence and just do it.
love a canvas-deprived you.
i've been thinking long and hard about things along this very line-----the fact that i have a very sustainable and exciting career---but one that is very uncreative.
ReplyDeletei've been a creative person ALWAYS. and i am forever writing. reading. dancing. and planning. i have already vowed that if i decide to ever go back to school---it won't be to get a masters in nursing. or to be a doctor. it will be for something fabulous---like journalism. or theater.
i'm thankful for my job. but i'm equally thankful for the life i lead outside of it.
don't ever loose your loves!
Good for you for pulling out your paints again! I'm all for it! And just so you know, I can totally empathize on the reaction-to-the-major thing, even though I'm not in the same one as you. Honestly, I think a lot of majors get that response if you're not in engineering, math, or another science. Believe me, people think English majors are pretty useless too. Oh well, what do they know? If we were all engineers, life would soooooooooooo not be interesting at all!!
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