Today's Victories

today i gave myself some chocolate chips and peanut butter. it wasn't unusual. but, see, yesterday i declared today "clean eating week." which basically means i've been eating a lot of sugar and sweets, not very many fruits and vegetables and i haven't been getting outside and getting the exercise that makes me feel top notch. i've felt sluggish and less than great. so, today was the beginning of clean eating week. i was also aware that i needed to not slip into restriction. clean eating week did NOT mean that i was going to restrict myself and cut out sweets or sugar completely. it wasn't going to mean that i felt deprived. that was the trick.... i wanted some chocolate chips, but i couldn't - i was supposed to be eating well this week. i struggled with the thought for while, maybe an hour or so. and then, realization dawned. i was trying to give my body what it needs, what is respectfully good for it without going over the top and withholding everything it loves. so i took out the chocolate chips, got a spoonful of peanut butter and enjoyed. it was delicious. and afterward, i felt satisfied. i also had some orange, carrot, beets and potatoes today. and i ran 2.5 miles in the sunshine. treating my body well in lots of different ways. after the last two weeks, today was a big victory that way.

today, i did two loads of laundry. but wait - i didn't just do two loads of laundry, i did two loads of laundry AND folded them all. and put them away. really, need i say more to explain why that's a victory? i have to add though, the washer and dryers ate an extra $1.75 and instead of kicking them (the usual response), i simply thought, it's a good thing i'm rich! all about perspective, people. really.

today, i had a balance of wakefulness and rest. i kept going. i started cleaning the kitchen this morning. i didn't finish until tonight, but i did accomplish much of what i set out to. today i changed the tablecloth and put on a table runner to beautify our home just a tab bit. straightened the bed, folded the sofa blankets. and i gave myself a nice long nap. the time was unintentional, but i gave my body some compassion for the hard work it's been doing lately. success, indeed.

tonight, i made some small conversation with a stranger - a simple thing that made a big difference in my day.

today i changed my perspective probably 325 times. the victory then is not that i didn't slip, but that i got back on track without giving up and letting myself stew in rumination and bad mood.

and i wrote twice - that's more than in weeks.

victorious day. here and there, a little bit all the time.