home again, home again...

to sum up the last several months, the first thing i would say is that absolutely too much time has passed between four hour trips back to my beloved ivins.  this weekend, a spontaneous road trip was in order.  in the morning, i woke up (too late to go to my friday classes), showered, packed my bags, and jumped in the truck to hit the road.  while in provo, it's easy to become so consumed in that kind of lifestyle: the constant overload of homework, the juggling balance of the life in a college town (almost void of order and predictability), the lack of sleep and constant atmosphere promoting parties - not peace.  my ivins home is almost the definition of peace.  the smell of essential oils, grapefruits, and mostly lavender from hours of my mother's soap-making.  a pleasing proportion of space to furniture, clean cut and orderly.  quiet music, complex classical that calms and clears my mind.  images of christ, the prophets, the temples, our family - all in harmony with muted colors and clear southern utah sunlight streaming through large clean windows.  unlimited delicious food and treats in a fridge full of unrestricted delights.  and mostly my mother: arms open, smile wide, voice soft, questions ready, a complete personification of peace.  i love the nieces and nephews, the reunion of all my sisters (a bond not often enough renewed with complete togetherness).  i love my cats, despite their mauling fights and slinking foot attacks.  i love my red mountain: bright, solid, and protecting.  i love the southern utah skies with clouds full and billowing, larger than any other sky on earth.  but mostly, i love peace. i love the renewal of my soul, of who i am deep down inside, the remembrance that i am part of the most important institution on earth - the family.  coming home is remembering where i fit in the world, why i fit in the world, and all the possibilities the world given to me provides - and this brings me peace.