little adventure in big store

today was a get-things-done day.  i had a list - a long list.

after calling natalie for directions to target (it's the one place i visit often in provo/orem area that i can never remember how to get to), i arrived with the intention of grocery shopping.  however, after spending almost an hour to find yoga pants, a humidifier, and a britta pitcher, i was almost frantic.  see, super-stores have the tendency to make me crazy - not a good way.  it's a pity the target here is super, because i love target.  but this one is so absolutely massive that i can't anything {anything} at all.  it took an hour to find three items, and after which i decided i was better off driving back to the grocery store than tying to navigate my way through endless isles of food.  grocery shopping with that long of a list is better done when you know were you're going... or at least aren't almost frantic.

luckily, provo has a health food store that does the opposite to my nerves.  two minutes in there and i had a full cart, a happy smile, and could have skipped back to my apartment.

i made tortilla soup tonight.  a favorite!  and it tasted like home. :)

tortilla soup - original recipe in one of lori's cookbooks.

1 T olive oil

1 diced onion

2 minced garlic cloves (or three... or four)

2 cups each of black, red, and pinto beans

4 1/2 cups water with 1 veggie bullion cube

1 can diced tomatoes 

1 tsp each of cumin, oregano, and chili powder

 2 T miso 

2 T nutritional yeast

stir the onions and around in the pan for a few minutes with the oil until they're transparent and brown, then add everything but the miso and nutritional yeast.  after cooking for a while... (30 minutes ish) add the last two ingredients.

i topped my soup with tortilla chips, jalapeños, green onions, and cilantro.  really, it's stupendous!

merry christmas, happy new year, and hit january's ground running

happy new year!!!

okay, i know i'm a little late.  i could say merry christmas as well because i missed that one first.  i took a little extended vacation during the holidays.  a break from. . .well, everything.  everything, that is, except a lot of wonderful and needed relaxation!

i want to jump right into the new year, new semester, new goals, and all that stuff.  but first, here's a brief review of the holidays from my perspective:

- hours of tamale-making while watching beezus and ramona three times (love it!)

- started sense and sensibility and still can't put it down.  darn that willoughby - he gets me every time in the movie, too!

- was renamed nanny by my almost-two-year-old nephew.  i'm still not sure how i feel about this.  however, i'm comforted by the fact that he actually said my name first, and that his calling everyone nanny originated by him missing the collective: "nanny and jessi."

- was second place in ticket to ride!  an accomplishment in my family, i assure you

- played carcasone into the hours of the night with hailey and natalie

- ate waaaaaay too much sugar (no worries, i'm repentant now)

- sang in the family christmas eve program

- made avocado tomitillo salsa for that evening's dinner

- saw the movie tangled twice.  man, if the holiday media has a highlight for me, it's this one.  i laaooooove it. i want to watch it again and again!  i'm listening to the soundtrack daily, and still cracking up at the funny parts.  new ideal man: eugene fitzherbert.  i've gotta find me one of those, someday.  more on this obsession to follow, that's really what it is!

- and caught a cold.  a cold that is ALMOST GONE! i'm elated. but knocking on wood and praying at intervals.

overall, i had quite the needed dose of family love this holiday season.  it was fabulous. fantastic. restful. and i didn't want to leave.

but life goes on!

and really, i love january.  a lot, actually.  new beginnings are addicting for me - i think it gives me some sort of strange adrenaline rush. . . 

you already know my obsession with little goals, and in january i get to make big ones!

so.  new year.  new me.  some changes to come, so be watching!

happy january!

and... a few photos from over the break:

 hailey's christmas toes

my wonderful nephew ashton and me - playing chess with him is always a highlight of home!

my family's wonderful christmas tree.  best. tree. ever.

roommate christmas party! {and a birthday}

last night my roommates and i gathered in the front room of our apartment to have a little gift-giving christmas party.  genni and beth were leaving provo today, so yesterday was the closest we could get to the real thing.

we are tree-less in provo this winter, so my pineapple lamp did double duty {and didn't mind one bit}.

being poor college students, we drew names between the four of us.  it was a silly coincidence that our gift-giving ended up in age order.  natalie gave to beth, beth to me, me to genni, and genni to natalie!

natalie gave beth a spanish novel she's been wanting this semester, a beautiful necklace {which was worn immediately}, and a notepad from knockknock, one of my personal favorite places to give and get from.

genni gave natalie a bright yellow teapot to replace the one that rusted very early this winter.  this picture describes her reaction almost perfectly - she was tickled!

from beth to me: two pairs of fabulous tights, the a&e pride and prejudice, and little owl earrings.  it was perfectly splendid!

i was too busy watching genni open my gift that i forgot all about my camera!  i gave her two of my favorite novels in the whole wide world {little women and the princess bride} and a beautiful heart-rose necklace.

of course, we had to have a little treat with the gifts!  my mom had given me a few things to make some end-of-the-semester treats for our apartment.  the cheeseball was definitely a hit!

later that night, brant {natalie's boyfriend} came over after work for an early birthday celebration. since none of us would be around on his birthday we decided it was necessary to have a provo-birthday party.  after we started eating, two of his roommates came to join our dinner celebration.  

i discovered something last night while we were madly preparing dinner and making sure everything looked beautiful: i really love to throw dinner-parties.  i love the cooking rush before, the beautiful table {we were excited that no two plates, bowls, or glasses on the table matched}, the communal eating late at night, and the lounging around the dinner table after it's all over with.  truthfully, i don't mind the morning clean-up much either, granted i have loud energetic music and pajamas!

oh, and i almost forgot!  the four of us {beth, genni, natalie, and i} went to the mall in search of bride's maids dresses for beth's wedding.  sadly, the ones we found are out of stock.  so the search continues!  but we did get some pretty snazzy pictures of the three of us. . .

i must say, the shiny dress took us each about fifteen minutes to put on.  it was such pain!  but worth it for the ridiculous pictures, at least!

snow.

i opened my eyes.  little flecks of pale-blue light floated through the closed blind.  not summer light, the light of a new snow.  i opened my blinds a crack to find every limb and twig of every tree and bush covered in beautiful delicate white snow.  

i couldn't help myself.  it was so peaceful that i didn't want to get out of bed.  but knowing that my day was already in mid-morning phase {sleeping in a tad bit was glorious this morning with no homework looming over my head}, i sneaked into the dark kitchen, mixed up a quick warm glass of lemon juice and cayenne pepper and tip toed back to my bed to listen to ingrid michaelson and watch the snow.  the warm water fogged the window a tiny bit and nothing moved but the solar-powered plastic flower on my dresser, waving back and forth in excitement.  

yoga this morning.  in my bare feet with the windows cracked just enough to see the snow while i breathe.  

i love the first snow here, almost as much as i dreaded it before i knew what it felt like.  

someone's going to get a very large snowball thrown at them today, because i simply don't think i can help myself!

the end.

finished.

clicked send on my last final at 6:13 pm.

i'm tired.
but i'm reveling in the excitement of finishing such a demanding semester!

it's elating, and although i'm really quite exhausted i don't want to sleep for fear i'll wake up and realize i still have eight research papers due. . .
or something scary like that.

school has been all-consuming this semester, since that first day i came home from class and laid on the floor for four hours reading.  i don't think i've stopped reading {or writing} since. . .

the first day: {could have been every day}

i laid on the floor reading. standing, stretching, breathing every half hour or so.  several hours into the bulk of it, an outgoing {and slightly overbearing} boy calls me.  from the ward.  he'd gotten my number the previous day at a little "get-to-know-you" activity. don't we all love those?  i was flattered.  after all, more than a few girls had been eying him the whole night.  i was not, however, very interested.  i'm polite, but i had homework and was a little too emotionally overwhelmed to be a very pleasant date at the barbecue.  i said no. but thank you, and please ask me again some time!  he never called, and i was never disappointed.  as it turns out, i was very, very lucky.  eating cookies at his apartment about a month later, i heard the whole tale straight from his own drama-filled mouth.  dating three girls in the ward, stressed that he couldn't hide it much longer and distressed because he couldn't decide which one to choose.  i'm glad to say i didn't laugh {out loud}.

believe me, i do consider myself lucky.

and now i get to sleep.
and cook whatever i want, disregarding the amount of time the recipe takes.
and paint my end table.
and read sense and sensibility and eating animals and three cups of tea and total money makeover.
and drink hot chocolate in the morning in bed.
and run for an hour without worrying about the time.
and finish my christmas shopping!

happy end of the semester.  merry christmas to all!
and to all. . . a very good night!

weekend excursions

have i said how excited i am to be all the way finished with this semester yet? tomorrow. tomorrow is the day that it's all over with.

as a little break from all this finals studying, my sisters mindy and hailey came up to visit on friday night.  they just left this morning - it was a fabulous weekend.  christmas concert with the utah symphony, shopping with the sisters for christmas presents and clothes, lunch at one of the coolest healthy-urban-hippie-ish restaurants in salt lake (the oasis), and dinner at an all-time favorite: the bombay house.  who doesn't love indian food, right?

having my sisters up for a little escape to salt lake city was one of the best thing that could have happened this weekend! it gave me just the break to work up a little more stamina for my last two finals.  one in the testing center tomorrow that will determine whether i scrape by or come off with my all-time lowest class grade yet, and another that will only make me feel warm and fuzzy.

no matter the outcome, tomorrow night i'll be celebrating!  making myself and my sister wonderful balanced meals, running every day, and reading all the books i've been dying to read all semester long.  not to mention sewing, painting furniture, possibly doing something drastic to my hair (and i mean really drastic), and... well, doing anything and everything i want!  maybe i'll even find some willing boy and take myself swing dancing - something that this semester has had a shocking lack of.

this semester has been rather suppressing. . . and it's time for a little creative liberation.
in just about every way possible.

also, going to salt lake helped my seattle excitement to escalate.  i'm getting excited - really, really excited!  in fact, i started thinking about how sad i'll probably be to leave when the time comes.  i can't wait for the new sounds, sights, smells, and people.
i'm ready for adventure!

here at the end of all things

today i sat in my third level english class and quietly celebrated.  first class of the semester finished.  sixteen page research paper out of my hands, twenty minute presentation out of my mouth.  finished!  this is one of those bittersweet endings - i love to write.  i love to be critiqued.  i love to workshop my writing.  and i'll miss that.  i won't miss that massive group project though.  i am infinitely happy that is done with.

it's all almost over again, and i'm slightly reluctant to let it all go.  one class particularly, i can't seem to let go of.  my advanced family processes class {graduate school prep class} terrified me at first.  the professor calling on people at random, and me sitting there biting my nails hoping something intelligent would come out of my mouth. now i love it.  now i don't wait until he tells me i have to talk or else.  oh how i love those people and their opinions!  it's been my favorite class thus far, i think.  the most challenging, arguably.  the most ambiguous, definitely.  but also the deepest.  we thought in that class, i mean really thought.  beautiful, intelligent conversation and debate.  glorious disagreements and fantastic compromises.  i'll miss that intellectual roller-coaster more than any class before.  not to mention the people - the quirky social science nerds, the girls with the beautiful accents, the ones that challenged my thoughts and became kindred spirits.  i'll miss that professor profoundly, with his unexpected lectures and history tangents, his advice, concern, and real-life down-to-earth expectations.

i can't wait to work with his project in seattle.  it frightens me a little again, to be trusted with a piece of this genius's brain-child.  but i'm giddy nonetheless.

thankful:

1. i'm thankful for the best professor i've ever had.
2. i'm thankful for for the potentially last group paper i'll ever write - finished!
3. i'm thankful for customized cupcakes and chocolate milk to end the best class of the semester.
4. i'm thankful for pasta salad after a starving day, a grandpa with a kind heart, chocolate oats, glen beck.
5. i'm thankful for three hour naps after one crazy day on campus, and a sister to make sure i don't sleep for twenty hours consecutively.

christmas in the air

happy december!  i'm a few days late, but it's the first sunday of the month and the first time i've really remembered it's already here.  december houses so many different exciting {and sometimes bittersweet} happenings: the end of the semester is flying toward me, christmas is creeping up, finals are looming, two of my sisters are coming up so soon, and i have so many presents to give away and little surprises and treats for people that i'm practically bursting at the seams!  the evening of the first sunday of december usually finds me curled up on the couch watching the annual LDS christmas devotional, but not tonight.  annalisa, my sweet roommate from summertime had four tickets to attend the devotional in salt lake city today!  i was thrilled when annalisa invited sabrina, natalie and i to shuttle up north with her to see the devotional in person!

this is the second year in a row i've been to the devotional, and just like last year, it took my breath away.  temple square is even more beautiful in the december fog and christmas lights.  the conference center was a spectacular sight.  as always, the devotional moved me almost to tears.  the girls and i sang christmas songs, laughed about the ridiculous christmas music on the radio, and took a million pictures!

being at the devotional again and walking the temple grounds afterward made me extremely contemplative, and. . . reflective, mostly.  i attended the devotional last year in much different life circumstances.  it's a memory i still treasure - an important period of my life that caused so  many significant changes, shaped me and steered my path in life, strengthened my faith in my Savior.  i'm different now.  much different than i was back then, a year ago.  it's interesting how much a year can change a person.  it's been one of the most changing years of my life.  one of the most unexpected, one of the more challenging.

i'm putting a lot of thought into my goals for this coming year, that's for sure.  it was almost a disconcerting experience to look back and realize that i've changed in so many ways i didn't ever expect to.  i'm different now in ways i didn't expect to ever be different in.  next year when i look back, i'd like to have anticipated a few of those changes, if even just for intentionality's sake.

thankful:

1. i'm thankful for wonderful x-roommates.  the little excursion tonight was exactly what i needed to set my focus on christmas instead of all my little problems {not to mention finals}.  annalisa, sabrina and natalie are three of the people that make me smile the most, i think.  i love being around happy people, and they are certainly happy people!

2.  i'm thankful for christmas lights, christmas trees, christmas songs, and christmas spirit.  i love seeing people be a little more kind, a little more thoughtful and giving.  it makes me want to do the same.  believe me, this year i have plans for just that.

3. i'm thankful for genni - we have such wonderful heart-to-hearts.  so telling.  inspiring enough to let me see myself and others more clearly.  and that clarity is always a large relief to me.

4. i'm thankful for hot chocolate, hot ginger tea, hot water with lemon juice and cayenne pepper. . . and all the things that makes them hot!  after being outside tonight, i needed a good warm-up to stop the shivering!

5. i'm thankful for the encouraging words and beautiful music tonight.  it lifted my focus to where it should be, gave me the strength i'll need for the coming week, and set my heart as ease during this crazy time.  it helped me to slow down and ponder more.  to appreciate the simple things and be thankful for everything i've been given.

ps. i know things with heat are becoming a repetitive theme - this will probably continue through february or march at least, at which point i'll be eternally thankful for spring.
pps. merry christmas!!

coat disorder

thankful:

today, natalie and i went coat shopping.  if i haven't mentioned, i am in desperate need of a winter coat.  being without one here {even just at the beginning of december} is devastating!  fortunately, we have a water heater.  in my small circle of kindred spirits it is fairly well known that i hate coats.  winter clothing as a whole, to be honest.  i have a phobia of feeling like a marshmallow.  if it's too tight i won't wear it because it makes me claustrophobic in my own skin.  if it's it's too big i won't wear it because i feel like a man.  coats are difficult for me.  so after turning in a massive research paper this afternoon {that i've been losing sleep and hair over for the past week}, and despite natalie's looming research paper, we headed into town in search of a suitable coat.  she didn't really know what she was getting into, despite her superior knowledge of my coat disorder.  we found one. sort of.  see, i bought one, but i'm not sure i'm entirely satisfied with it.  and. . . that's a lot of money to spend on something i'm not absolutely in love with.  i like it an incredible amount, but i'm not sure if it's love, quite yet.  so. i bought another coat online - one that i am absolutely in love with!  if it fits, i'll take one back, and voilá!  so it's undecided, but the good thing is, within the week i'll have a coat, and it was incredible fun with natalie bringing me just about every small- and medium-sized coat in the store.  so. . .

1.  natalie: i'm thankful for a sister that will let me drag her through the ordeal of choosing a coat, despite how difficult and ridiculous i am every time i put another one on.  it was a darn good thing i wasn't alone, or i wouldn't have come out with anything!

2.  water heaters: genni and were talking about how absolutely cool it would be to have one of those water heaters that never runs out of hot water - the ones that heat it as it enters or something specific like that.  then, i realized that i am blessed to even have a water heater, even if it runs out of hot water after i do the dishes.  i am so absolutely grateful for hot water when i wake up in the morning and freeze upon getting out from under the covers.  hot water is an absolute piece of my physical salvation sometimes and i am thankful for that water heater!

3.  coats: natalie has one i've borrowed this week and oh was i ever thankful for that coat!  walking to class with just a jacket had my lips blue and goose bumps on my goose bumps on my entire body.  i'm happy that i have a coat.  so many people don't and this week having one to borrow (and now having one in my possession) makes me want to buy one for every poor college student in provo that isn't warm enough - not to mention the rest of the freezing world population.  this christmas, i wish for everyone who needs a coat to have one.

4.  finished research papers: i was so relieved today after turning in that paper that i could have danced. . . i should have danced!  next paper, i will.  i'm so thankful that i have the ability to be in a place where enough is demanded of me that i write things i never thought could come from my mind.  i love feeling stretched; i love feeling relief when the result of said stretch is pleasing.

5.  God-given time: i've needed a coat for quite some time.  i've needed a little escape this week with someone to give me a tad bit of coat-support.  i just haven't had time {and didn't expect to have time} until during finals week.  today, i was blessed with a few hours {and so was natalie} in which to relieve some stress and buy some warmth.  i'm thankful when God gives me things i don't expect sooner than i expected.

by the way, what were you thankful for today?

extra on the thanks

thanksgiving was lovely this year.  for the first time in {we figured} four years, my entire family was together - plus a few extras.  we had almost a pie per person!  and the food... oh! the food.  it was glorious, to say the least.  this was also the first time in probably five years that i took part in the turkey-eating.  i can tell you right now, it was darn good!

other than our passionate love affair with food, thanksgiving (and the beginning of the holidays in general) bring out a few little quarks in my family.

as has become the unspoken tradition, all chess boards remained on the tables in multiple rooms.  i think i played over ten games of chess while home, and only lost two!  unfortunately, the losses were to my dad and natalie's boyfriend {brant}.  old vices, intimidation, drastically out of practice, the excuses could go on.  truth be told, i've only beat my dad twice in my life - and we've been playing since i was probably thirteen.

the holidays awaken another sleeping monster, especially prevalent in hailey and i (although vigorously shared by my dad and natalie, too).  epic movie marathons are always on the mind around this time of year.  usually the lord of the rings, star trek, or pirates of the caribbean.  something along those lines.  but this year (in light of the newly released craze), we waved our wands and borrowed the entire harry potter collection from my oldest sister, carrie.  yes, that's right: harry potter 1-7 (part one) in a week!  i'll admit. . . i still have hesitations about harry potter.  i was outright anti for quite some time.  after reading books one through five i was absolutely fed up with the recycled plot, lack of all natural consequences for the main characters, and well, other things.  but i've reduced my sticklerness lately.  harry potter, while not fabulous literature, is fun.  and sometimes, i'm okay with just fun.  i've realized (after slowly beginning to eat meat again) that i don't have to be obsessive about the things i feel strongly about.  just cautious.
and oh was it fun!
the honest truth: i think i might even see 7 (part one) in theaters again. . . and possibly pick up the last three books during the semester for a bit of light escapism.

okay! now, what i was actually going to write about when i started this crazy post was how i'm working on an attitude adjustment.  in light of the season, i'm starting a thankful series.  the plan: at least five things i'm thankful for per day - recorded starting today {but i had to review thanksgiving, too, after all}.  we'll see how it goes.  basically, being thankful makes me un-grouchy.  sorta like the LOVE game.  but here's the thing.  it's the last two weeks of the semester, so. . . crunch time.  i'll miss some days probably.  but the point is to keep me from ripping out my hair if finals go kerplunk.  i think it will!

oh yeah, and to all you other college students: happy finals.  i'm praying for all of us!

thankful:
1. i'm so very thankful for a new heating pack.  i love not having rice in my bed, and i'm so thankful that i can sleep warmly.
2. i'm thankful that i could see the spectacular mountains this morning.  i always seem to forget how breath-taking they are when snow was completely dumped on top of them.  add to that an incredible sunrise on my walk to campus and you get a fabulous morning - that's for sure.
3. i'm thankful for sabrina perkins.  this semester, so many times when i needed a lift, she was the one that realized, that got me out of the house, convinced me to buy the incredible jacket and yellow boots, made me feel like i was trusted and worth trusting, let me talk as long as i needed and cry as much as i wanted, made me dance to lady gaga and laugh till i was giddy.
4. i'm thankful for ink in my printer. . . and getting slightly more simple, for my printer.  the expense and hassle of printing in the library for a month was starting to drive me bonkers.  i live on convenience, i know.  i almost feel guilty for being thankful for a printer.  after all, it's not a necessity.  but maybe that's all the more reason to be thankful.
5. my mom sent back two bottles of homemade turkey noodle soup - thanksgiving leftovers.  believe me, i'm thankful for that soup this freezing week in provo.  and thankful for my generous mother to make the soup and insist i take it.  i love soup and mom!